this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
