i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
