I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
