i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
