yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
How naked do you want me to be?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
