Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
