i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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