So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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