There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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