I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
