what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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