I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize