Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
