THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
