I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I love you. Go after that dick
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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