I wanna bring you to show and tell
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
