I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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