Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
