my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
