So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
