Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
