I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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