brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
