the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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