I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
