I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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