the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
