I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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