spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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