with your own penis?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
