I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
