I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Boobs are out for the taking
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
