And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
