please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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