So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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