i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
