And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
