This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
