u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Your penis caused this!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
