At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
