he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
