i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
