What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
