The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Hippo gnu deer
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
