If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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