She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
