She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
