Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
