we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize