then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
