You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I stole a fireplace last night.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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