like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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