Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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