I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
it's like iHOP with fire
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
