i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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