How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
