I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My dick has a subreddit
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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